Pregnancy...silly and serious

I am still in aww of the way a body can change in such a short time... It seems as though even my "loose" jeans will no longer button up, which has now put me into maternity jeans, which really are not to bad (other than having to pull them up all the time they are pretty nice)  what other time in your life can you lose almost 20lbs and still outgrow your jeans??? I don't seem to have to many of the emotions that surge through just yet at least. I do have my moments when I have a good cry, but nothing much more than i would of before.  I have also found when people say you loose your brain cells...well they are right. Funny story for you all.  Last week we were at the dinner table at my in-laws serving up dinner I had already had the meat and salad on my plate and a scoop of corn going for another scoop and my sister in-law started to look at me funny and moving her eyes from my face to my left hand. In my left hand was the lid to the corn and on the lid was about 3 scoops of corn...some how I had lost where I had put my plate (right in front of me) and not realized I was still scooping corn... did i mention that the lid had holes in it, so the water from the corn was dripping in my cup... I started laughing so hard I was crying. I really hope the brain recharges after the baby is born.  On a more serious note...

Pregnancy... I have seen many events pass by me this past month with more to come and many have been blessings and others heartaches. I have felt the love of our Savior so strongly he is the rock on which I stand and rely on daily. He has lead me through heartbreaking loss of a dear friend wise beyond her months, softened my heart towards those I may not of been, walked me through my own fears, and celebrated with me and Bryan as we were able to rejoice in having his side of the family all in the Celestial room at once.  Having this child in me has brought on a new way of thinking. I know that my child can see and feel Heaven even as I know that this baby is here and can sense all that is going on with me. I feel closer to our Father in Heaven through this little miracle, I feel as though I don't deserve this miracle in my life as though sometime soon I will wake up and it will all be a dream, which would make my life a nightmare. The fear of losing this baby or that i've made it up haunts me at times... These times I have to rely upon our Savior and ask him to help me to see that this baby is okay and will be strong. Bryan is a saving grace to me, he is always so strong in his faith and lends me he shoulder at my times of weakness. I guess the time it's taken for us to get pregnant would cause these thoughts or maybe it's all normal for one to fear the unknown.